For the past several days I have been fucking flying. I have a ton of energy, my mind is moving a thousand miles an hour, and I feel okay. Unfortunately, I can’t fucking concentrate on anything long enough to get some solid work done.
It could be due to my medication being switched last week. I had been taking 40mg of citalopram (Celexa) along with my 150 mg of Wellbutrin, but the Celexa got nixed and now I’m on Prozac.
The Celexa did wonders for my anxiety. I can’t remember a time when I was able to walk outside my door without feeling like everyone around me was looking at me. Every laugh was someone laughing at me. Behind every window were scrutinizing eyes judging the shit out of me. How I look, how I move, all of it.
Unfortunately, while I was on Celexa, the slightest bit of alcohol would give me the chills, tremors, and dry heaves. That being the case, it had to go. I’d rather be able to drink than feel somewhat normal, I guess.
You know, that doesn’t sound right. Oh well.
Of course, I didn’t tell my doctor the reason I wanted to stop taking Celexa was so I could start drinking copious amounts of alcohol alone in my apartment. He’d never do it were he to know that that was my reason. Plus, I had no intention of telling him I drink all the time alone in my house. If I’m going to live my life like a loser, I’d just as soon nobody know it but me. After all, if nobody observes it, is it really happening?
Anyhow, I had been complaining about feeling really “blah” and low-energy for quite some time, and my anhedonia had gotten to the point where I got no joy out of anything.
I initially wanted him to increase my Wellbutrin from 150mg to 300mg, but he said the Prozac would work to “kick start” the Wellbutrin and help me feel more energetic.
I think it worked – I’m so hyper I don’t even know what the fuck is going on.
On a side note, I’ve also been experiencing severe withdrawals from the Celexa in the form of weird electric shock/dizzy spells that happen every few seconds. I don’t care for them.
A Lion's Roar 